You Must Reflect

Life is confusing, it's scary one minute and predictable the next. It seems to me that at times in life we feel it has slowed enough to have a vast amount of space to think and reflect. These are the creative times. The nights when we suddenly become a seamstress or a writer. These are the sparks in life. Then there are the soul crushing days when our flame has been dulled by other's rules or judgements or even our own thoughts. These days we wish we could heal ourselves through change, but instead find ourselves in ruts. Then, we wake up one day and realize how much time has gone by and wonder who we are? These are the teaching moments that remind us to take risks, stand proud, avoid compromising ourselves and breathe.

I think that is so important to remember when parenting. We don't want to miss out on the development of our children. Therefore, we have to make sure we keep ourselves healthy and in the now. I realized that the other day. My baby is already six months old, and I need to enjoy every moment I am home with her. She grows and changes with every moment that goes by and one day these days will be memories. The last thing I want to do is resent my feelings or forget the great moments because I was stressed out or not trying to research what I could do to fix things.

I think that is easier said than done with a high need baby. It is easy to get lost in the desperation and panic when you are on little sleep with sore shoulders and no more entertaining ideas. Here are some ideas I think will help.

1. Talk to your pediatrician or even your doctor. My doctor recommended a resource line to speak with someone. Regardless of whether it is post partum depression or just having some difficulty managing, you shouldn't have to feel alone. The nice thing I have found with this consultant is that she listens to some of the things I am going through and can provide some outside unbiased opinions of what to try.
2. Talk to a friend. Sometimes speaking to someone without kids is very helpful. I'm not suggesting you tell them what is going on because they will never understand, but let them talk to you about being a mother. A lot of times they will compliment you or just give you a chance to think about a different perspective of life. That is sometimes nice to have that mental vacation or feel good about being a mom. The issue should never be that you feel like a bad mom for having a baby that needs you. It is the issue that sometimes we get overwhelmed by it.
3. Do the one thing that calms the baby so you can think. Aria hates the swing and the car seat, but she has generally been okay in the sling/carrier or the stroller. I go for a long walk every day so I can just reflect on things. I have found that it keeps me feeling calmer. 
4. IF there is someone else the baby behaves with, pass the baby off and take a bath or do something you enjoy doing. Even if it is doing your nails or reading a magazine, just remember you were a person before the baby, so you deserve to feel like one with the baby.